Mornings

There is something to be said for what sleep can do, and the feeling a person gets when they wake up at the beginning of the morning.

There is always that moment of possibility. Of course sometimes it can last longer than others.
Last night it took me a long time to fall asleep, I had a lot of thoughts in my head. Finally I drifted off, then woke up this morning feeling calm and relaxed. The fact that I've only had 3 hours of sleep hasn't yet sunk in, and I am hoping I make it through the day before the inevitable wave of tiredness hits me.

My work schedule over the past couple of years has been insane. I worked an average work week of 70 hours, pretty much worked 7 days a week, put in a few 20+ hour days in the office, but no matter how stressed or tired I was, there was always, that moment, sometimes fleeting where I would wake up and feel calm. I have come to treasure those moments, and try my best to make them linger as long as possible.

Purpose?

I have met some new people lately, and had some recent conversations which have sent my mind traveling back to my past, and got me thinking about my perspective now v's back then.
There have been a couple of major events in my life which sent me on a certain course. There's also been some smaller things which I experienced which may have either tweaked my course, or perhaps altered my perceptions.

I admit now that I have no idea where this is going, but I was laying here, feeling somewhat awkward and felt the need to write. I am sure to most this wont make much sense. It doesn't help matters that I am writing this on my iPhone and we all know by now how apple likes to autocorrect. Doing my best to catch those as I go, by certain I will miss some.
Anyway, I had a recent conversation with someone regarding the way I was feeling a long time ago. About the struggles I was having in my early 20's trying to determine what the point of life was. Not just my life but life in general. The human race as a whole to be honest. I couldn't figure it out, the thought consumed me. At some point I realized that there was only so much I could do regarding a larger purpose. And rather than beat myself up, I realized that I could make a difference to those around me. If I could walk down the street on the way to work and smile at someone, it may make a difference to their day. If at work I could make a small improvement it could make a difference to someone. If I could appreciate the small things in life, it would make a difference to me.

I still now, almost 10 years later believe the same thing. Is it because I convinced myself that this was right, or did I just accept that it was OK?

I find myself revisiting it. Wondering and speculating.

For some their purpose in life is their kids, or earning enough money to pay the bills, or by the car they want. I've never set my goals that way. I've always felt that we, as part of the earth have a responsibility to ourselves, each other and the environment around us. As such, I get pained when I see or hear of people/events that damage those around them. It makes no sense to me.

I was going to write surely we all have the same goal which is to be happy and live life fully, but then I realized that's not the case. That's just my goal. Certainly I share it with some. Several people in my life have the same goal. Others not so much. And although I had in my mind that fulfillment of those goals would lead to happiness I realized that also is not the case.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

Lazy weekends, a thing of the past?

I don't know what it is about my weekends of late, but they seem to fly by so quickly.  Jam packed with all sorts of things, leaving little time for those lazy Saturdays or lazy Sundays.

This weekend was spent with my friends girls, meeting up with my cousin from the UK, who is over here visiting a gentleman fellow.  Catching up with my husband who I hadn't seen for a week.  Working on the house, shopping for the house, visiting with a friend, and goodness knows what else.

Now its a little after 5pm, and I am finally sitting down, with a cup of tea and pondering what the week is going to bring.  I should really check my work email, but I feel so content and happy that I don't want to spoil it.  It will all still be there tomorrow after all.

So, these days, although my weekends are full and busy, I can't help but notice, by the time Sunday evening comes around, I feel relaxed and content.   I don't feel the need to have a lazy day.

Now, I am making Shepard's pie, and will soon be sitting down to dinner.  Next on the list, its time for me to start reading up on my garden.  So many things out there, that I have no idea how to take care of, and I need to start soon, otherwise everything will be dead.

Happiness

Bamboo

We have some gorgeous bamboo in our new back garden.  It's one of the things that I've had to do some reading up on though, as I've heard that it can get out of hand pretty easy.  It already seems to have grown in the two weeks we've been living there.  Although, from what I read, they grow anywhere from 1ft to 5ft a year, depending on the type of bamboo.

Looks like one of my activities this weekend might be to get outside and give our bamboo a hair cut.  While reading I also found out that is possible to grow from cuttings, which I think I might try out. There's another area we've been talking about extending the bamboo too.  It might be a fun way to get it done.  Time consuming of course.

It is wonderful to sit outside and listen to the breeze rustling through the bamboo.  It's impossible to be anything other than relaxed sitting outside with that in the background.

Gardening - for worms?

Two more days left with the girls.  They really have been so great.  I've had a good time, although it is quite tiring.  I just wish that there was a way to bottle up our energy when we are children so we can save it and use it later when we get older.

This weekend will be quite eventful.  My cousin is in town (at least I think she is).  She planned to arrive today, and is staying with someone she met when she was out here at my wedding.  I haven't heard from her yet, but we have plans to meet up on Saturday.

She's such an interesting character.  She's a hoot.  Never a serious moment when she's in town.

Other than that, there's more house things to do.  I need to get out into the garden and figure out what's in the veggie patch.  A Vietnamese family had our house before us, and they planted the veggie patch.  From what's above the ground I don't recognise anything.  So I am going to have to dig and find out what's underneath.  Hopefully I haven't left it too late, and there will still be something edible under there.

I will start posting photos of my gardening fiascoes.  I haven't dug in a garden since I was a child.  No doubt I'll end up all dirty and muddy.  I used to dig a lot as a kid.  My cousin and I (the same one mentioned above), used to dig and collect worms, then make worm gardens.  However, when we got back to our grandparents house the following week, there'd be no more worms in the worm garden, and back to digging again we would go.  I think we did this for weeks on end.  Not really sure why, but it was fun and made sense at the time.

Shame my grandparents didn't have a compost heap, we could have made that into the worm garden. Then there would have been happy worms, and some really good compost.